Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Craft Time: Make A Thanksgiving Day Chocobo Hat

It’s 4pm on Thanksgiving Day. You’re probably stuffed with turkey right now, or in the process of stuffing yourself with turkey, or still waiting to stuff yourself with turkey. (If you ate ham, get the hell out of here.) You know what that means? It’s time to make hats! Making turkey hats is an old Thanksgiving tradition. It’s not hard to see why; turkey hats combine two of our favorite things: food and fashion. Hats also make your head look bigger, which will convince people that your brain is huge. People who wear hats are often the life of the party. Need proof? Check out this picture of Spock. Boy what a boring guy. Now, what if we throw a hat on him? Instant party animal! You too can be this guy. But instead of making the traditional Turkey hat for Thanksgiving, why not make a hat using gaming’s first bird: the Chocobo. Read on to find out how. Making Chocobo hats is a fun family affair. It’s also practical. If that annual post-meal brawl breaks out, you’ll already be armed with scissors. Here’s what you’ll need to get started: Construction paper (all colors) Scissors Glue (edible) The unspoken disgust of your older cousins Kenny Loggin’s Top Gun Soundtrack Begin by cutting a piece of yellow paper into a large circle (don’t worry it can’t feel anything.) This is what a circle looks like: Next, cut out a beak and some eyes. Here is what you’re aiming for: If your uncle begins screaming about how his ex-wife wrecked his boat or your nephews start a backyard wrestling match in the living room, crank up Kenny Loggin’s "Danger Zone" and shut out the sound of smashing dishes. Next: putting it all together. Families can be hard. Is your mom screaming at you to take out the garbage? Is your Dad yelling at you, because he doesn’t want you to cut off all the cat’s hair? Is some old man complaining that you broke into his house and stole his war bonds? Ignore them. They don’t understand you. You’re an artist. You need those war bonds to make your Chocobo hat. It’s time to put the whole thing together. Glue your beak and eye to your circle and then affix the whole Chocobo head to another piece of paper (or war bond) and wrap it around your head. Feel free to add a few little extra details to your hat. Really make it your own. Add some extra tuffs off hair or a ruffled brow. If your Chocobo is filled with friendship and magic, add some glitter. If you’ve followed our instructions carefully, you should end up with something like this: *Results may vary There you have it. You are now free to experience the true joys of Thanksgiving. Throw away the unused scraps of paper (ignore their cries for mercy; they weren’t good enough to make the cut.) Now, go have some pie and hug your grandma – not only will she be freaked out by your new hat, she’ll won’t know what to make of this random affection. And remember, if you get bored later, you can always make Chocobo hats for your pets.

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    Tour de France winner Greg LeMond is making cute carbon e-bikes

    Greg LeMond, a former professional cyclist that won the Tour de France three times, is jumping on the e-bike bandwagon. Today, his personal company — simply called LeMond — has launched two pedal-assist bicycles built almost entirely from carbon fiber. The Daily has a traditional ‘double diamond’ design, while the Netherlands-inspired Dutch has a low-step frame and swept-back handlebars. Both have carbon fiber frames, seat posts and, unusually, barstems. It’s painted the same color as the other carbon fiber components, giving the bikes a uniquely blocky look upfront.

    Gallery: LeMond Daily | 10 Photos

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    Both models are powered by a 250W Mahle ebikemotion X35 motor that can deliver up to 40Nm of torque. They’ll have an assisted top speed of 20MPH (26KMH), though you might be able to go a little faster if you leverage the traditional gears on the back. The Dutch and Daily will ship with a 250W battery in the downtube that should manage up to 50 miles on a single charge. It’ll need to be topped up if you want to take advantage of the lights that have been cleverly integrated in the handlebars and seatstay. If you need more juice, LeMond has confirmed that both bikes will be compatible with a 250W add-on battery that attaches to the frame.

    Gallery: LeMond Dutch | 17 Photos

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    You can order the Dutch and Daily today for $4,500 from LeMond’s website. The Dutch comes in pink, mint and dark blue, while the Daily can be ordered in pink, dark and light gray. (I’m really into the pink versions.) The company will ship to anywhere in North America and Europe, and expects to deliver the first bikes to customers in January. If you’re not convinced, there are plenty of carbon fiber alternatives to consider, including Gogoro’s Eeyo 1 and 1s, and the 3D-printed Superstrata bike.

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