Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Craft Time: Make A Thanksgiving Day Chocobo Hat

It’s 4pm on Thanksgiving Day. You’re probably stuffed with turkey right now, or in the process of stuffing yourself with turkey, or still waiting to stuff yourself with turkey. (If you ate ham, get the hell out of here.) You know what that means? It’s time to make hats! Making turkey hats is an old Thanksgiving tradition. It’s not hard to see why; turkey hats combine two of our favorite things: food and fashion. Hats also make your head look bigger, which will convince people that your brain is huge. People who wear hats are often the life of the party. Need proof? Check out this picture of Spock. Boy what a boring guy. Now, what if we throw a hat on him? Instant party animal! You too can be this guy. But instead of making the traditional Turkey hat for Thanksgiving, why not make a hat using gaming’s first bird: the Chocobo. Read on to find out how. Making Chocobo hats is a fun family affair. It’s also practical. If that annual post-meal brawl breaks out, you’ll already be armed with scissors. Here’s what you’ll need to get started: Construction paper (all colors) Scissors Glue (edible) The unspoken disgust of your older cousins Kenny Loggin’s Top Gun Soundtrack Begin by cutting a piece of yellow paper into a large circle (don’t worry it can’t feel anything.) This is what a circle looks like: Next, cut out a beak and some eyes. Here is what you’re aiming for: If your uncle begins screaming about how his ex-wife wrecked his boat or your nephews start a backyard wrestling match in the living room, crank up Kenny Loggin’s "Danger Zone" and shut out the sound of smashing dishes. Next: putting it all together. Families can be hard. Is your mom screaming at you to take out the garbage? Is your Dad yelling at you, because he doesn’t want you to cut off all the cat’s hair? Is some old man complaining that you broke into his house and stole his war bonds? Ignore them. They don’t understand you. You’re an artist. You need those war bonds to make your Chocobo hat. It’s time to put the whole thing together. Glue your beak and eye to your circle and then affix the whole Chocobo head to another piece of paper (or war bond) and wrap it around your head. Feel free to add a few little extra details to your hat. Really make it your own. Add some extra tuffs off hair or a ruffled brow. If your Chocobo is filled with friendship and magic, add some glitter. If you’ve followed our instructions carefully, you should end up with something like this: *Results may vary There you have it. You are now free to experience the true joys of Thanksgiving. Throw away the unused scraps of paper (ignore their cries for mercy; they weren’t good enough to make the cut.) Now, go have some pie and hug your grandma – not only will she be freaked out by your new hat, she’ll won’t know what to make of this random affection. And remember, if you get bored later, you can always make Chocobo hats for your pets.
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    Archenemy Review: Kinetic, Colorful & Refreshingly Original Superhero Take

    Rating:  8.5/10 Cast: Joe Manganiello as Max Fist Skylan Brooks as Hamster Zolee Griggs as Indigo Paul Scheer as Tango Amy Seimetz as Cleo Glenn Howerton as The Manager Written, Co-Story & Directed by Adam Egypt Mortimer; Co-Story by Lucas Passmore Click here to digitally pre-order Archenemy! Archenemy Review: We’re in an age in which superhero movies and comic book stories remain all the rage on both the big and small screens, but admittedly even as the adaptations remain mostly quality or entertaining, even I’ve felt a bit of the comic book fatigue in my content viewing. So when a film as intriguing, as colorful, as subversive and as original as Archenemy comes along, I’m reminded of how exciting the world of superheroes can be, even if it’s not based on an actual comic book. Max Fist (Joe Manganiello) claims to be a hero from another dimension who fell through time and space to Earth, where he has no powers. No one believes his stories except for a local teen named Hamster. Together, they take to the streets to wipe out the local drug syndicate and its vicious crime boss known as The Manager. The story surrounding Max and his past is one that often feels very unique, with displaced and disheartened heroes having been seen before in the pages of Todd McFarlane’s Spawn and Mark Millar’s Old Man Logan, but never in such a way as Max’s case. He’s not just disheartened by his past but also by being trapped in a world he’s unfamiliar with, and having no one to turn to. Writer/director Adam Egypt Mortimer’s approach to how the world sees Max and how Hamster learns about him is also brilliantly played out through the story as we really are left to wonder for much of the film if he is actually who he says he is or just a poor and delusional man. With his powers taken away from him due to the hole in the universe he punched himself, according to Max, it makes it that much harder for one to believe his tales and though he makes plenty of attempts to prove it to his young follower, it plays out in the “blink and he misses it” formula that works to further test audiences’ judgments on Max. Given the more indie nature of the production, especially in comparison to Marvel and DC’s $150+ million budgets, Mortimer finds a workaround to bringing the world of Max’s home planet to life by utilizing colorful and vibrant comic book-style animation and it works entirely. It not only allows the filmmaker to ensure all of his live-action material looks as stylish as possible with the money he has, but it also creates a shared visual language between animation and the real world that works marvels. Alongside the skillful and well-paced storytelling, there’s also a marvelous sense of humor that runs throughout that prevents the film from plunging into the overly-serious and boringly-dour depths of Zack Snyder’s DC Comics efforts, of which Manganiello has previously been a part of. From the erratic nature of Paul Scheer’s coked up Tango to Glenn Howerton’s deliciously evil Manager, and even Manganiello’s ability to bring some self-aware levity to Max, there’s plenty of moments worthy of chuckles or laughter that keep the proceedings just light enough. The performances in the film also shine, be they comedic or serious, especially in Manganiello, Howerton and sure-to-be-breakout-star Zolee Griggs. Admittedly, Griggs’ Indigo feels somewhat familiar and underwritten at times, a typical big sister doing crime to get her and her brother out of the ghetto and in a better life, but the 23-year-old star brings a real heart and charisma to the character that enlivens her and makes her a compelling center to the story. Archenemy may fall short of some viewers’ expectations with some occasional uneven writing and steadier pace than other comic books outings, but thanks to stylish direction, a unique and intriguing concept, brilliant animation and stellar performances from its cast, it continues Mortimer’s win streak and proves he’s far more than just a horror director.

    Archenemy: RLJE Films Acquires Action-Adventure Starring Joe Manganiello

    Archenemy: RLJE Films Acquires Action-Adventure Starring Joe Manganiello RLJE Films has acquired the North American rights to the action/thriller Archenemy ahead of its world premiere at this year’s Beyond Fest. The film marks the third collaboration between RLJE Films and SpectreVision, after Mandy and Color Out of Space. RELATED: Joe Keery is a Madman in Spree Red-Band Trailer Written and directed by Adam Egypt Mortimer (Daniel Isn’t Real) from a story by Mortimer and Lucas Passmore (No Good Heroes), the film stars Joe Manganiello (True Blood), Skylan Brooks (Empire), Zolee Griggs (W-Tang: An American Saga), Paul Scheer (Black Monday), Amy Seimetz (Pet Semetary) and Glenn Howerton (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia). “We’re excited to be back in business with SpectreVision after the incredibly successful releases of Mandy and Color Out of Space,” said RLJE Films Chief Acquisitions Officer Mark Ward. “With Joe Manganiello’s strong performance and Adam Egypt Mortimer’s innovative direction, we couldn’t have asked for a better dream team to showcase Archenemy at Beyond Fest and in theaters and various platforms in December.” In Archenemy, Max Fist (Manganiello) claims to be a hero from another dimension who fell through time and space to Earth, where he has no powers. No one believes his stories except for a local teen named Hamster. Together, they take to the streets to wipe out the local drug syndicate and its vicious crime boss known as The Manager. RELATED: Color Out of Space: Shudder to Stream Nicolas Cage Film Archenemy was produced by SpectreVision’s Daniel Noah, Lisa Whalen, and Elijah Wood along with Kim Sherman, Adam Egypt Mortimer, Joe Manganiello, and Nick Manganiello. Archenemy will be released in theaters, On Demand, and Digital on December 11, 2020.

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