Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Craft Time: Make A Thanksgiving Day Chocobo Hat

It’s 4pm on Thanksgiving Day. You’re probably stuffed with turkey right now, or in the process of stuffing yourself with turkey, or still waiting to stuff yourself with turkey. (If you ate ham, get the hell out of here.) You know what that means? It’s time to make hats! Making turkey hats is an old Thanksgiving tradition. It’s not hard to see why; turkey hats combine two of our favorite things: food and fashion. Hats also make your head look bigger, which will convince people that your brain is huge. People who wear hats are often the life of the party. Need proof? Check out this picture of Spock. Boy what a boring guy. Now, what if we throw a hat on him? Instant party animal! You too can be this guy. But instead of making the traditional Turkey hat for Thanksgiving, why not make a hat using gaming’s first bird: the Chocobo. Read on to find out how. Making Chocobo hats is a fun family affair. It’s also practical. If that annual post-meal brawl breaks out, you’ll already be armed with scissors. Here’s what you’ll need to get started: Construction paper (all colors) Scissors Glue (edible) The unspoken disgust of your older cousins Kenny Loggin’s Top Gun Soundtrack Begin by cutting a piece of yellow paper into a large circle (don’t worry it can’t feel anything.) This is what a circle looks like: Next, cut out a beak and some eyes. Here is what you’re aiming for: If your uncle begins screaming about how his ex-wife wrecked his boat or your nephews start a backyard wrestling match in the living room, crank up Kenny Loggin’s "Danger Zone" and shut out the sound of smashing dishes. Next: putting it all together. Families can be hard. Is your mom screaming at you to take out the garbage? Is your Dad yelling at you, because he doesn’t want you to cut off all the cat’s hair? Is some old man complaining that you broke into his house and stole his war bonds? Ignore them. They don’t understand you. You’re an artist. You need those war bonds to make your Chocobo hat. It’s time to put the whole thing together. Glue your beak and eye to your circle and then affix the whole Chocobo head to another piece of paper (or war bond) and wrap it around your head. Feel free to add a few little extra details to your hat. Really make it your own. Add some extra tuffs off hair or a ruffled brow. If your Chocobo is filled with friendship and magic, add some glitter. If you’ve followed our instructions carefully, you should end up with something like this: *Results may vary There you have it. You are now free to experience the true joys of Thanksgiving. Throw away the unused scraps of paper (ignore their cries for mercy; they weren’t good enough to make the cut.) Now, go have some pie and hug your grandma – not only will she be freaked out by your new hat, she’ll won’t know what to make of this random affection. And remember, if you get bored later, you can always make Chocobo hats for your pets.
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    James Cameron, Christopher Nolan & More Urge Congress to Save Theaters

    James Cameron, Christopher Nolan and Others Pen Letter Urging Congress to Save Theaters Movie theaters have been hit hard during the COVID pandemic due to restrictions that more or less discourage moviegoing along with an utter lack of high profile films to lure audiences out of their homes with. As such, a number of high profile filmmakers, including James Cameron, Christopher Nolan, Clint Eastwood, Zack Snyder, Steven Soderbergh, Martin Scorsese, M. Night Shyamalan and Edgar Wright (among many others) have reached out and called on Congress to reallocate funds from the CARES Act proposals to movie theaters in order to keep them alive. RELATED: Bill & Ted Face the Music Earned Around $32 Million from PVOD Release It’s great to see some of Hollywood’s finest come together in order to save cinemas, which have lost absurd amounts of money. In an article in the LA Times, it was reported that AMC Theatres, the world’s largest cinema operator, “posted a massive loss for its most recent fiscal quarter” totaling $561 million as a result of the pandemic. Yikes. Hopefully, this letter moves Congress to some sort of action to save the theatrical experience from vanishing altogether. Here’s the letter in its entirety (via Deadline): Dear Leader McConnell, Speaker Pelosi, Leader Schumer, and Leader McCarthy: Thank you for your leadership at this challenging time for our country. As you consider forthcoming COVID-19 relief legislation, we ask you to prioritize assistance for the hardest-hit industries, like our country’s beloved movie theaters. No doubt you are hearing from many, many businesses that need relief. Movie theaters are in dire straits, and we urge you to redirect unallocated funds from the CARES Act to proposals that help businesses that have suffered the steepest revenue drops due to the pandemic, or to enact new proposals such as the RESTART Act (S. 3814/H.R. 7481). Absent a solution designed for their circumstances, theaters may not survive the impact of the pandemic. The pandemic has been a devastating financial blow to cinemas. 93% of movie theater companies had over 75% in losses in the second quarter of 2020. If the status quo continues, 69% of small and mid-sized movie theater companies will be forced to file for bankruptcy or to close permanently, and 66% of theater jobs will be lost. Our country cannot afford to lose the social, economic, and cultural value that theaters provide. The moviegoing experience is central to American life. 268 million people in North America went to the movies last year to laugh, cry, dream, and be moved together. Theaters are great unifiers where our nation’s most talented storytellers showcase their cinematic accomplishments. Every aspiring filmmaker, actor, and producer dreams of bringing their art to the silver screen, an irreplaceable experience that represents the pinnacle of filmmaking achievement. As well as their critical cultural impact, theaters are economic force multipliers. In addition to the 150,000 employees working in cinemas nationwide, the industry supports millions of jobs in movie production and distribution, and countless others in surrounding restaurants and retailers that rely on theaters for foot traffic. Movie theaters are also leaders in employing underrepresented groups, including people with disabilities, senior citizens, and first-time job holders. Cinemas are an essential industry that represent the best that American talent and creativity have to offer. But now we fear for their future. Theaters need specific relief targeted to their circumstances. We urge you to come together on abipartisan solution that provides this relief, by reallocating unspent funds from the CARES Act toward programs designed for industries like movie theaters, or by enacting new proposals such as the RESTART Act. These solutions would fulfill Congress’s intent in helping severely distressed sectors of the economy and ensure that our resources are focused on the industries that need them the most. Please fight for our country’s beloved and essential cinemas by including relief for them in anyforthcoming COVID-19 legislation. Thank you for your leadership and for considering this request. Sincerely, John Fithian President & CEO, NATORuss Hollander, National Executive Director, DGACharles Rivkin, Chairman & CEO, MPAThomas Schlamme, President, DGA Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Wes Anderson, Judd Apatow, Jon Avnet, Sean Baker, Noah Baumbach, Michael Bay, Susanne Bier, Barbara Broccoli, James Cameron, Antonio Campos, Damien Chazelle, Jon M. Chu, Sofia Coppola, Alfonso Cuarón, Lee Daniels, Dean Devlin, Clint Eastwood, Andrew Erwin, Jon Erwin, Paul Feig, Shana Feste, Scott Frank, Cary Joji Fukunaga, Greta Gerwig, Evan Goldberg, Paul Greengrass, Leslie Greif, Luca Guadagnino, Catherine Hardwicke, Alma Har’el, Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes, Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu, Barry Jenkins, Patty Jenkins, Rian Johnson, Miranda July, Nicole Kassell, Jon Landau, Francis Lawrence, Mimi Leder, Ang Lee, Rob Letterman, Shawn Levy, Richard Linklater, James Mangold, Sam Mendes, Adam McKay, Steve McQueen, Ted Melfi, Reed Morano, Christopher Nolan, David O. Russell, Todd Phillips, Guy Ritchie, Seth Rogen, Joachim Rønning, Michael R. Roskam, Martin Scorsese, M. Night Shyamalan, Zack Snyder, Steven Soderbergh, Joey Soloway, David E. Talbert, Betty Thomas, Emma Thomas, Liesl Tommy, Denis Villeneuve, Taika Waititi, James Wan, Lulu Wang, Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz, Michael G. Wilson, Edgar Wright, Joe Wright, Cathy Yan, David Yates.

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